5 things you can do to stay awake without the help of coffee
So you need to pull an all-nighter because you’ve played video games all week instead of writing your term paper, plus you have four tests tomorrow (none of which you’ve studied for), and it’s now 8PM and you’re in a daze, freaking out, and feeling like you’re going to have a heart attack because you have no idea how to tackle the intense studying and writing that await your attention the night ahead and you have no idea how to get out of it alive?
Put away the coffee, sugary snacks, Domino’s Pizza, and Red Bull. You can do it without the aid of substances! There are lots of tips to staying away and harnessing your mental powers to get what you need to get done, done. Here are 5 tips on how to get through a hellish all-nighter without stunting your growth with caffeine and losing your teeth with sugar.
5. Cold, ice cold.
Do not study or write in a warm, comfortable climate unless you want studytime to turn into naptime. Keep your room cold and don’t wear any layers. Drink cold water constantly and let it rush right through (you won’t fall asleep if you frequently need to use the restroom). If you feel really desperate, put an ice cube down your shirt. No one falls asleep when an ice cube is running down the inside of their shirt.
4. Head bang, don’t head nod.
You know why sleep mixes are always full of soft, croony acoustic music? Because that kind of music puts you to sleep. Conversely, no one has ever fallen asleep at a Norwegian Death Metal show, nor will anyone, ever, because it’s impossible. When you feel your head nodding to your chest, raise it up and head bang to crazy music. It’ll keep you dazed and awake enough to make it through just a little longer.
3. Spice it up.
Warm, soothing chamomile tea puts you to sleep. Conversely, cayenne pepper jolts you to your sense. If you feel like you’re about to fall asleep, stick a jalapeno in your mouth and feel the burn. Sometimes pain is a good thing. Drizzle some cayenne in your mouth, or drink Sriracha from the bottle. Whatever it takes, soldier, whatever it takes.
2. Wear constricting and highly uncomfortable clothes.
PJs are soft, wooly, comfortable, because soft, wooly, comfortable things make you sleepy. A really tight uncomfortable outfit is the perfect ensemble for studying, because in no way will you associate your dad’s old scratchy polyester pants with a pair of flannel PJs.
1. Get on your feet.
If you feel you need to sleep it off, shake it off instead! Get up and do some jumping jacks, run around the block, or stand up and slap yourself across the face (but don’t hurt yourself). Snap out of it! You have to study. You did this to yourself by procrastinating. So you have no choice but to suck it up and do what it takes to stay awake. So if you feel like you need to climb in bed and forgo your grade entirely, get on your feet and shake it like a Polaroid picture instead.
